Expecting White

So I’m back home for the summer and I’m in this weird situation. My sister and best friend are abroad right now so I’m trying to find people to hang out with back home. But everybody I know from high school is pregnant and/or married. I even have one friend who has a Pinterest Board Labeled “My Wedding” and I asked her, I said,

“Brooke, are you even engaged?”

“No.”

“Then why do you have this?”

“It’s gonna happen.”

This is true, if you want it to be true, marriage will happen. But the best part is, it doesn’t need to happen today. Marriage isn’t a class you’re required to take before your 40, and it doesn’t have an expiration date. If you go to city hall at the age of 80 and request a marriage license, they don’t ask you to lift your arms and measure your sag. “I’m sorry the limit is 2 ½ inches and just by looking at you I know I’ll need a measuring tape. Your request has been denied. Now if could check out the way you came in, we have a rush of expecting 39 year old teachers who want their maternity leave after their honey moon but right before summer school starts”.

I feel like the odd one out because I went to school. I grew up thinking that going to college was expected. College was brought up a lot throughout my life.

“Mom I won’t do my homework.”

“Too bad. You are doing your homework and going to college, now color that cat.”

“Mom, Aaron pushed me and said I was stupid.”

“It’s okay, he’s not going to college.”

“Jessi doesn’t have a job”

“Jessi doesn’t have to help with college.”

“Mom I don’t wait to wait till marriage.”

“Do I look like I’m gonna take care of your babies. No, you are going to college, unless you want to pay me 6 billion dollars in rent.

“Mom, I don’t want to go to college.”

“Too bad. Do your homework. Have you finished that cat yet?”

I was under the impression that there was a nuclear order of things:  graduate high school -> go to college -> find potential husband -> graduate college -> get dream job the day after graduation -> get married to potential husband -> have kids -> die.

Now it’s more like:  graduate high school ->  show up for college -> try drugs -> graduate college broke -> move back in with parents -> sell drugs -> meet someone on the internet -> get married broke -> divorce broke -> meet someone at rehab -> get married again and become a step parent -> go back to drugs -> die -> finish paying college loans.

No college version:  get pregnant -> get job -> go back and get GED -> get better job -> have another baby -> move back in with parents -> meet someone on the internet -> get married broke -> divorce broke -> children grow up ( 1 out of the 2 will repeat this cycle)-> die -> finish paying bills.

Don’t get me wrong. I have heard of some beautiful stories about couples who fell in love in high school and maybe there was a baby, or maybe the military, and I really support these couples. I just roll my eyes at broke couples with nothing better to do than get married and then post about their weddings problems.

Stacey Ducklips Posts

I guess Jared’s ex- is in my bridal party WFT #countdowntobaby

Even in college my friends are talking about marriage and posting pictures of engagement rings on Facebook, and buying matching Vera Bradley bags (irrelevant but annoying). They act like married women whenever we have to cut through Macy’s to get to the mall. One day they made me look at dishware china sets with them. Megan picked a white one with a simple silver rim and Nicole picked one that was just plain white, and liked the one with this oriental design. You would find in a glass box on the wall of a Chinese restaurant. If you’re getting china it might as well look Chinese. I thought that these plates would be the everyday dish wear, no, no, no, no, no. This was the “special” china, that you keep locked up in the dining room and use on very special occasions like Christmas and anniversaries. Then I argued with them that an annual celebration wasn’t special enough to lock up $600 worth of plates. I wonder what happens to the silverware.

Maybe it’s my lack of romance that makes me against this forward thinking of my peers. I don’t like to be around people for long periods of time (my personal bubble is the size of Montana), I’m awful at communication, and I’m oblivious to most pick up lines. True Story: When I worked in retail I had a customer explain to be that I was being hit on. Despite my lack of interest in marriage at this time in my life, it doesn’t mean that I don’t share the same feelings as people my age. I’m graduating college next year and I don’t know what I’m doing, where I’m gonna be its all very nerve racking. Marriage and starting families forces you to get your life started but the open field of possibilities is a field of flowers so pick a few before you mow over it with a housing development. You got plenty of time!

Today’s blog is inspired by Jenna Marbles thoughts on marriage. I think she is super funny and I share a lot of her view point’s! Watch her video here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_F_ZZEuVLaw

Fitting First

I’ve never “blogged” before, I’m not quite sure I know what I’m doing but I’ve been assured that it’s not too difficult. I was a little nervous to start a blog. Whenever I thought about blogging for some reason I see my college neighbor Chris; he wears those huge ray bands glasses that make him look like a hipster. I see him sitting at my old wooden desk but he’s not in my room, he’s not even in my house. The room he is in is lime green with one metal desk lamp shinning on the corner of the desk. The strange thing is he isn’t typing on a laptop, or one of those flat screen desktops, he is typing on the old off-white computers with the monitors that looked like a robot’s foot from the side and a mini TV from the front. And for some reason Chris’ face is obnoxiously close to the screen of the monitor; nose on glass action. In my head is see Chris using his right index finger to type something you would find in a break up letter between warring countries; YOU WILL SURRENDER MY IPOD, AND MINI FRIDGE FOR YOUR ALLIANCE WITH THE REPUBLIC OF CHAD. THE GENOCIDE OF YOUR BELONGS WILL IMPEDE AFTER YOUR COMPLIANCE WITH THESE TERMS IN THE NEXT 72 HOURS. IF NOT I WILL BURN ANY SURVIVING CLOTHING RESIDING IN MY TERRITORY. TREASON’S A BITCH. In reality Chris has a blog but he made it for his communication class; I have no idea what he uses it for. I think that I visualize him when I think about blogging because I always think that bloggers wear large glasses. Obviously my ideas on blogging do not reflect the true blogging experience.

  *I see a foot*

So what do you do when you’re unsure about something? Consult your doctor if you are experiencing light-headedness, and the inability to pronounce words that are synonyms for “easy” such as:  simplification. Doctors are expensive so I asked my mom, who told me to ask my friends who were incredibly vague; “You just write what you want and you don’t get in trouble for it. Now will you let me finish Game of Thrones?” I thought I was lucky when we covered blogging in Writing for the Media, but it just made it worse. There is blogs about everything from plants to technology, from wine to water, big issues, small issues, the issues that need tissues, and issues with a fish blue.

Racism, Sexism, Terrorism, Tourism it’s all up for grabs. I wanted to do some additional research to narrow down the craft of blogging so I decided the only reasonable resource for a problem like this is Wikipedia, 1) Because they share the fraternal bond of internet resources that people mistake for fact, 2) I just finished finals and I’m gonna be lazy cause I’m a senior. Holla back. (notice I’m so lazy I didn’t even spell “because” correctly in that declarative sentence). Wiki-wack drops the beat on seven types of blogs:

1)      Personal Blog  <- I be up on that

2)       Microblogging  <- essentially Facebook, Twitter. I didn’t know I was already a microblogger.  I feel like a boss.

3)      Corporate/organizational Blogs <-Marketing, and extending the communication of an organization or corporation. My bro does something like this. He is also a boss.

4)      Genre Blogs <-pick something write about it, get busy, and unlike my Pandora Beyonce station, be consistent.

5)      5-7 are a couple of blog types that I’m not interested in talking about. I did say I was feeling lazy. But here’s a link to the Wikipedia types of blogs definitions. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blog#Types

I think the most important thing I’ve learned about blogs is that you can’t say whatever you want. You shouldn’t make up stories about celebrities and create a spin-off bible series like How I Walked on Water, or 11 in Counting. It’s mean and nobody wants to get sued, “or worse expelled” (Hermione Granger).

all images provided by google images!